Day 36

Still stressing from coursework...done quite a lot today but its annoying me so bad!!! This one has to be finished by march the first, or on this - day 41. But I'm getting there. 


Day 36

• 3 chicken wings
• small sausage roll
• 1 sausage
• 3 potato wedges
• 1 bite of poptart
• yoghurt

I think I'm getting hungry because I'm stressing. And I'm inside all day next to the fridge. Oh well, when this is over it will be better.

Night night!

Emma xx

Day 35

So went to the doctors and they stole about 5 vials of my blood!! But yes, need to go back next Friday to get my results and talk about other possibilities. I'm still so tired! So I'm going to bed in a minute, I can't remember the last time I went to bed this early!! 


Day 35

• 4 forkfulls of mashed potato
• 2 small chicken fajitas
• 1 yoghurt

Which is actually quite a lot. But tomorrow will be better. I have found that diet coke makes me less hungry and the bubbles fill me up :) Also I have huge amounts of coursework to do now. So as long as I have energy and diet coke, all will be fine.

Goodnight beautifuls!

Emma xx

Day 34

So I am very tired, hopefully going doctors tomorrow for blood test but they said my doctor was booked up until 8th March? I'm just going to have to hope someone else gets a free slot tomorrow...for my tiredness and moodswings and lack of concentration and whatnot. It could be a problem with my thyroid. And I got one coursework in, I just need to do the next two now.


On another note, I CAN'T WAIT TO BE THIN!! And it's going to happen this time, I have no doubt. My boyfriend said when he hugged me earlier he could feel my spine and my tops are starting to get baggy. But the best thing is that my boobs haven't gone down at all!! But I am getting horrible stretch marks but apparently they will go because I'm young :) and I'm moisturising them a lot. Anyway, I would much rather have stretch marks than fat!


Day 34

• 1 cracker with cream cheese and salmon
• 1 apple pie nakd bar
• 3 slices of carrot
• 2 forkfulls of mashed potato
• 1 pork chop
• 1 doughnut

So it looks like a lot but it is really not! Compared to the food I would normally eat - that is one meal, and I wouldn't be full! So I'm still doing good! 

Night darlings!

Emma xx

Day 33

So I'm not very well today, have thrown up a couple of times, but I think that's because of stress and exhaustion, not because I'm actually sick.  But coursework is stressing me out. One is in tomorrow, but then I have to be straight on the next one which is in on the 1st and then another one on the 8th. so after that, I will probably sleep for a week! Not doing very well in them so far though, but right now all I care about is passing!!

Day 33

• 1/2 mozzarella stick
• 2 pieces of pizza
• 1 chicken wing

So not a huge amount but it's easy food, just open the fridge and eat type food. I still ate it with the chewing and texture thinking though!! Anyways I am going to bed...

Night darlings!

Emma xx

Day 32

Stressing about coursework today, but so nearly done!! It's exciting!! Even more confidence in myself today, its brilliant!! I just can't wait to get to the beach in the summer with my brand new bikini body!! Gonna be a quick one tonight again because coursework again tomorrow!!


Day 32

• 2 crackers with light cream cheese
• 1 mozzarella stick
• 6 chicken wings (quite indulgent - but justified)
• 1 piece of pizza

Chicken wings, when you think about it, are actually about 50% meat and 50% bone, so I actually had 3 chicken wing sized things, which is actually only about 3 forkfulls. Justified.

Night lovelies!

Emma xx

Day 31 & Photos

So I did photos yesterday, but was so busy I couldn't upload them, and completely forgot!! I'm feeling a lot more confident than I usually do which is lovely, and I actually went to uni!! I am getting incredibly stressed out at the moment though, probably from all the coursework mixed in with the not smoking and hormones, but I'm literally going a bit nuts. Bursting into tears randomly and feeling sick because I'm panicking too much!! But I have an entire month left of this, if it is the coursework. But I'm thinking about going to the doctors to see if it's a medical thing and if not - I shall resort back to hypnotherapy (in my addict-like ways).

Accidentally got some of my hair in this one! But This week, although the stomach reduction is less, I think it's more noticeable around my hips and my wings are nearly gone!! But for some reason I was standing wonkily and although my boyfriend told me to stand up straight, for some reason I didn't. It may have been because I was cross with him for no reason and I was being stubborn...


Day 31

• 5 pieces of mini chirizo
• 1 sausage
• 1 yorkshire pudding
• 1 sausage roll
• 3 squares of chocolate + an aero Christmas tree (tiny)

One thing we get told a lot in a session, is to not worry about our "indulgent" days, because skinny people have them too! I have a friend who has never been over 7st 5lbs who eats quite a small amount, but sometimes she will eat a whole tub of ice cream in front of one film!! So it's okay to have days where you eat a bit more and enjoy it, as long as you let yourself do it, push away any feelings of guilt and make sure you let yourself know that you can go back to small portions tomorrow. One other thing that is helpful is asking yourself if it's worth it - Is that doughnut going to make me more happy than being slim? Is that chocolate bar going to satisfy me as much as self-confidence? My answer is usually NO, and I'm sure most peoples is aswell.

Have to go to bed now so will wake up to do more coursework, so goodnight sweeties!!

Emma xx

Day 30

So okay day today, been very stressed today, 3 days to get my coursework in, so going to keep this short! Feel good now, but am mood swinging crazily though! Looked up reasons online and apparently I am either a druggie or depressed or mental. hmmmmm. DOUBT IT! I think its a mixture of hormones, nicotine deficiency and no energy (weight loss). Might be worth going to the doctor anyway just in case. For a sick note if nothing else.


Day 30

• 2 crackers with light philadelphia
• 2 olives
• 3 fork of bolognese and 2 pieces of pasta
• 1 piece of pizza

So back to coursework now but have a lovely night darlings!

Emma xx